“Wait until your father comes home.”
For many Nigerian children, discipline has long been associated with fear. A raised voice, a threat or a beating may be presented as a way to teach respect and good behaviour.
But where does discipline end and harm begin?
The question is becoming harder to ignore as research continues to examine the effects of physical and psychological punishment on children.
The World Health Organization defines corporal punishment as using physical force to cause pain or discomfort, however light. Its 2025 report says there is now overwhelming evidence that corporal punishment carries risks of harm and offers no benefits for children, parents or society.
The issue is not limited to physical punishment.
UNICEF also includes psychological aggression, such as shouting, insulting or frightening a child, within its definition of violent discipline. Its latest global data estimates that about 1.6 billion children, or two out of every three children worldwide, regularly experience violent punishment at home.
Nigeria is part of this wider conversation.
UNICEF’s Nigeria child-protection work highlights the need to protect children from violence, exploitation and abuse. A 2025 Nigerian review of corporal punishment also called for greater use of positive, non-violent parenting practices.
None of this means children should have no boundaries.
Children still need rules. They need consequences when they misbehave. They need parents who can say no and mean it.
But discipline does not have to make a child afraid of the person who is supposed to protect them.
A parent can remove a privilege, set a clear consequence, explain why a behaviour is unacceptable or give a child time to calm down. These approaches can teach responsibility without relying on pain or humiliation. UNICEF recommends positive discipline as an alternative approach to punishment.
The difference matters.
A child who understands “I did something wrong” is learning accountability.
A child who only learns “I must not get caught” is learning fear.
For Nigerian parents, the challenge may therefore be less about choosing between discipline and freedom.
It is about finding a form of discipline that teaches children why their behaviour matters without making them afraid to make mistakes.
Respect should be part of discipline.
And fear should not have to be.
